Don't Ever Lower Your Standards

     Hello all, it has been a hell of a long time, huh!? Well I have been insanely busy with work, and of course as the kids get older, they become more social, but they still can't drive themselves around, so it's Momma's Free Uber service for the time being. Soon that will change however, as Adrienne is quickly approaching driving age! YIIKES! How did I get this old!? Shit... someone rewind the clock a few years, I am not sure if I am quite ready for that. She is a great kid, intelligent and witty, but I can't help but wonder what kind of teenage bullshit she is going to pull with me. So for now all I can do is offer her my advice and wisdom and hope that she keeps her standards high. I have wavered on mine from time to time, Lord knows I need help pulling my head out sometimes. So my hope for her is that she learns from my mistakes, makes a few minor ones on her own, and walks out into the world with her head tightly fastened to her shoulders. 

     Having high standards in life is very important, it gives you a self guide on the things you wish to achieve in life, the things you wish to better, and how you present yourself to the world. I have no idea how many times in my life I have been told that my standards are too high. Whether that is with a career choice, my love life, or just my day to day living. You see, I don't have a college degree, so applying for jobs that I know I possess the skills for, yet lack the piece of paper with some fancy letters on it, I get told to "set my sights lower". Fuck you, just because I don't have a BA in Office Management, doesn't mean I can't answer phones and make appointments Mr. Can't-Tie-His-Own-Tie. 

Same goes for my love life... I see an attractive man and lose all courage to speak to him because all those voices telling me he is "out of my league" are stitching my mouth shut. I know what I have to offer, and I know I am not the best looking woman out there. Does that really mean that I can't have my cake and eat it too? 

     I have had a checklist of sorts for the things I wish to find in a man. Since my divorce I have dated many that haven't quite fit the bill. Some were way off the mark, others were close, but missed a few important ones. I have been holding tight to that list though, determined to find this man who fit me, who made me smile from the inside out, and who took the time to show me every single day how much he cares for me and my kids. In my mind, this man is kind, loving, and considerate. He can sing, or at least carry a tune here and there. He is attractive and has done well for himself in life, not "rich", just comfortable. This man would put me at the top of his priorities list, and also have a spot in his heart for my children. He would embrace my weirdness and love me for me, not who he thinks I might become. In his eyes my flaws are just facets to my shining personality, his heart beats for me and only me. Now I know that there are some weirdly specific things on that list, and I don't really care what you think about that! It's my bizarre list and I am sticking to it! And it's a damned good thing that I did! Because I have met that man! 

     WHAT! No way! She must have finally snapped and thinks she has met this insanely specific man.... I know that's what you're thinking. Don't call the nice young men with the long white coats to take me just yet! He exists! I am so happy, and not in the "floating on cloud nine" kind of feeling. It's more like, I am finally grounded, feet firmly planted and for the first time in a long time I have a vision of what my future looks like. Yes I know how that sounds, and no, I am not crazy... well, maybe just a little... but I am still me after all. I am cautiously optimistic, and excited for what this may bring. 

     I see changes in my life ahead, and those changes will affect many areas. Housing, job, love, children, all these things will need to be re-evaluated and adjusted. You see that is the tricky part with dating and having kids. So many things have to come together perfectly. It's not easy, and I truly believe it can be done. It will take time and patience on all parts, and when it all comes together, I hope with all my heart that I will have my happily ever after. My life has been nothing but chaos these last 5 years. I have had moments where the chaos has controlled me, and where I have somewhat controlled it... nonetheless, it has still been a mess. If anyone deserves a happily ever after, it's me. So I am going to take it.

Until Next Time Friends

 

Food, Laughter and Love... So much Love

    
     I have been very busy lately, to say the very least. School has started up again, that means sports, scouts and lots and lots of meetings and homework! I know my fellow parents can feel my frustration with the homework. Fuck, talk about a shit show! I know my house is a trial of tears every single night! I have been trying to multi-task and prepare dinner while helping with the homework. I have made some wonderful meals over the last few weeks and I wanted to share a few of my faves! More importantly, these are favorite meals of my spawn as well.

     Rosemary & Garlic chicken with roasted rainbow potatoes with rainbow carrots. No pic for this, but just listen... er.. read about it.  So get yourself some chicken, I don't care, what ever part you like to eat. Season it up on both sides with garlic powder, crushed rosemary, black pepper, and a dash of sea salt. Preheat your oven to about 375. Put the mother cluckers into a glass baking pan with olive oil or coconut oil. Toss those in the oven for about 30 mins and then check on them. I use the poke method to check for done-ness. My more anal retentive friends may wish to use a meat thermometer. Chicken is cooked to food safe at 165F. You can toss those potatoes and carrots in some Herbs De Province, black pepper, sea salt, garlic powder and I tossed in some onion for flavor. Toss those in the oven next to the chicken. Yep, all at the same time. Dinner orgy happening in the oven. They should all be finished close to the same time. Give the taters and carrots an extra 10 minutes if you want them softer.

     Taco Tuesday! Ground beef, turkey or pork. Brown that in the frying pan with ground cumin (a teaspoon or so), Chili powder (about the same), crushed red pepper flakes if you like HOT!, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, & sea salt. When its cooked, add one 8oz can of tomato sauce. Re-up on all those seasonings from before. Go by taste, and take it easy on the salt until you know... trust me on that. Not going to waste my breath on the rest of the taco fixings. You know what you like on it, buy that.

     Meh, I said a few and there are 2. I will try to get you guys something else soon. I have so many dishes that I can whip up, I will try to share more with you. I have been loving life recently, so the food I cook has become more secondary to just enjoying the people around me! I have met a few new friends recently and had the pleasure of going to the Spokane Interstate Fair with them. I have to say that I have not had that much fun at a fair since I was a kid! It's truly amazing what surrounding yourself with good people can do for the soul. I have laughed more, smiled more and been enjoying myself more. Finding people that don't think that your quirks are weird, they just get excited with you over the bizarre! Those are the kind of people you need in your life.

     My kids have been making me smile and laugh these last few weeks. They are growing into beautiful people. Each one of them has their own interesting personality. My amazing daughter is turning into the kind of person I have always known her to be. She is kind, thoughtful and so very strange! My heart fills when I see her growing into such an amazing young lady. Both my son's have been pushing my patience! As boys seem to do. They are turning into little gentlemen, however. I have gotten reports from teachers that they have been respectful and kind to the teachers and other students. Nothing makes you feel more proud than to have a stranger tell you that your child has been so highly thought of.

     As we are wrapping up another calendar year, and beginning another school year. I have been looking forward to the fun that will continue and to the new adventures that I will encounter. If you all have noticed... I have not mentioned online dating in this post! That's because I have turned off the fuckery for now. I have put a hold on the shit show. After 2 solid weeks of some seriously creepy men hitting on me, I have sworn off the dating sites for the time being. It took me about 10 showers to get the last few messages washed off me. *shudders* One or more of those dudes knows how to put a woman in the trunk of their car, I'm certain of it.

So go out! do something awesome and ABOVE ALL ELSE! Have fun!
Keep it Classy as fuck my friends!
Until next time.

Passive Aggressive Dating

     Ok, buckle up for the rant. I can no longer contain the irritation caused over a passive aggressive asshat! First off, let me say that I have been chatting with this guy for over a month now. He lives in another city and it has been difficult between our schedules to actually make time to meet. He might even have a link to my blog, come to think of it, so, if he's reading, I hope he takes some pointers for the next woman he speaks to.

     I work full time, HE works full time and then some. I have kids, he doesn't. So in addition to the conflicting work arrangements, I have the added complication of having time with my kids that WILL NEVER BE COMPROMISED! Fuck you if you think that I am willing to sacrifice the time I get with them. This basically leaves me open to go on dates 2 weeks a month. Then you have to factor in the time I spend with my friends. So that takes my 14 days and cuts it to about 10. Then factor in my early morning work schedule, so I really don't like to be out past 9pm on a work night. So that turns into only 5 hours per night of the work week that I am potentially free to meet someone. Then of course Friday night and all day Saturday. Sunday is my day to relax and prep for my children to arrive home. I think that I'm down to 6 days in a month at this point. Never once did I let on that dating me would be easy. I tell every man that chooses to have any contact with me that I am busy, and I truly mean that I am BUSY.

     Secondly, I will not put up with someone who makes me feel guilty in anyway for being a working mother. I work hard and I raise my kids. If you can't deal with that, see your way out. I will not tolerate your passive aggressive texts. Fuck you, fuck off, you fucking fuck. Telling me that you're going to just give up on trying to meet me... fine, then don't meet me. I apologized for it being difficult. Then telling me that it is not for your lack of trying.... Oh, then it must be that I am not. OK then, Captain Dillhole. I'm done.

     When will these guys learn that you can't tell someone how "understanding" you are, then turn around and be an ass? That might be the way it works in the bars, or how it works with those thirsty hoes just looking for a dick to ride. I am not any of these bitches. I am perfectly content waiting for someone who truly understands my life and is willing to hang around and see how amazing I am. I think that I am worth the wait. The right man will agree with me. I treat my man good, no, better than good.... amazingly. I will go to the ends of the earth to make them feel welcome in my arms. I will settle for nothing less than the same treatment. So the next time that you feel the need to get hacked off at someone for not dropping everything in their life to meet you right now.... take a moment and try to understand how difficult it might actually be for them to rearrange their life for a few dates. People work, have kids, plans that were made long before you came stumbling into the picture. Don't force something to happen, it will happen in due time. Until that time comes, make your own plans, do your own thing and for the love of Fuck, don't plant your happiness in someone else's  garden!


Until next time my friends.

Adventures of a Single Mom Trying to Date!

   

     Ok, so as I covered earlier in my blog, I'm a mother of 3 wonderful kids. They are my world, I would do anything for them and love them each for the people they are. That being said, I'm done having kids. No more! 3 is plenty, thank you. Not to mention that they are all potty trained and can generally feed and care for themselves. Now I'm going to segway this into a dating rant here, so stick with me.

     So in the dating world there seem to be 3 types of man... The first type: Those that have no kids and don't ever care if they do, or flat out want none. This type of man I am cautious to date, mainly because they don't have a clue what goes into raising a child, therefore have no idea why I can't drop everything and run off anytime I like. 

The second type: Those who have their own kids and are ok with you having kids as well. These guys understand the throws of parenting somewhat. However, there can be serious issue if they don't see eye to eye with you on parenting techniques. I'm more inclined to date this type VS the others just because of the single parenthood common ground. 

The third type: The guys who have a biological clock that won't quit! This guy is hard to notice right off the bat. This guy is sneaky, he can blend into either of the other 2 categories fairly seamlessly. This guy scares the shit out of me! This is the type that will wait until your emotions are clouding your judgement. Or he will just catch you off guard at any given moment. You could know him for months, or just a few days or weeks before he drops the "I want a baby" bomb on you! This guy gets kicked to the curb with me. PEACE OUT! Not only no, but HELL NO! Shit, even my 12 year old daughter knows that this type of guy is out of his mind if he thinks a woman with 3 kids, (who has told him she's done with babies, mind you) is gonna have more for him. 

     Ok, phew! Sorry for the detour. It just seems that the more I dive into the rabbit hole of single life, the more motherhood and dating start to bleed across. My children know I date, however, I keep them from the painful reality of having men pop in and out of their lives. My kids have met exactly 2 boyfriends since my ex husband left. That's it. I do not parade men through my house, I do not schedule dates when I have them if I can help it, and above all, I DO NOT have them meet a man unless I am 100% comfortable with him myself. I know there are judgemental people out there who think I shouldn't even date until they are grown... To you I say, FUCK OFF! It's not your life, it's mine. My kids are protected and anyone who wishes to challenge that can say it to my face. I'll go ALL momma bear on you. 

So, I will have many more opportunities to share crazy stories with you. Family stories, dating stories and cooking stories. If there is anything y'all would like to have me share my opinion on, please leave me a comment.

Until next time!